"I’d like some nails," O'Toole requested of the travelling tinker. "How long would you like them?" asked the tinker. "Forever, if dat’s all right with you," said O'Toole.
"How far is it to the next village?" asked the American tourist. "It’s about seven miles," guessed the farmer. "But it’s only foive if yer run!"
Two Irishmen stopped by the police for jaywalking, Name ? said the sergeant to one,
O’Conner, says the first one,
Address ? says the sergeant,
No fixed abode says O’Conner,
And you. said the sergeant, looking at the other,
O’Brian, and I live in the flat above him…
Paddy was looking through The Bible in his hotel room when a leaflet fell from between the pages.
It said “if you have a drink problem ring this number”.
Paddy did, and he got an Off -licence in Royal Avenue…