Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew - Harry Carpenter, after the University Boat Race 1977.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!” - Anon
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry.
The Duke of Edinburgh asked a British student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?" - Prince Philip, 1998.