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THE JOLLY FROG: Free speech meets basketcase. Hilarity ensues.



Monday, March 9, 2015

45. A Son's Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt always wear
CLEAN UNDERWEAR
in case thou art
in an ACCIDENT.

2. Thou shalt not telleth
SECRET TALES of thy youth,
for verily thy parents
are better off in DENIAL.

3. Thou shalt not destroy
NAKED BABY PICTURES
of thyself.

4. Thou shalt REMEMBER
thy parents' birthdays.

5. Thou shalt not holdeth
the PHONE away
from thine EAR
and thinketh
"BLAH, BLAH, BLAH"
while thou doth converse
with thy parent.

6. Thou shalt not sell thy
GIFT JUMPERS in sales of
JUMBLE, nor use them
as OIL RAGS in thy garage.

7. Thou shalt WRITE or CALL home
or DROP BY so thou mayest
keep thy parents in the loop.

8. Thou shalt not mocketh
thy relatives, calling them neither
"OLDIES" nor "WRINKLIES."

9. Thou shalt not avoid
FAMILY REUNIONS
by offering such false excuses
as "FISHING"
or "WASHING THY CAR."

10. On thy birthday thou shalt
CELEBRATE thyself mightily
for verily thou art a GOOD BLOKE
who DESERVETH a DAY OFF
from, yea, these many
COMMANDMENTS!


Saturday, March 7, 2015

44. Dingoes

There were two blokes in the outback camping, and they woke to see a dingo coming towards them. The first bloke said to his mate," Gee I'm glad I wore my sneakers."
His mate replied, "That won't help you outrun that bloody dingo",
First bloke says, " I don't need to outrun the dingo, I only need to outrun you."