55. Construction Whodunnit

Construction Whodunnit
A workman was killed at a construction site. The Police began questioning a number of the other workers.

Based with past brushes with the law, many of these workers were considered prime suspects. They were a motley crew:

The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.

The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame another man one time.

The glazier went to great panes to conceal his past. He still claims that he didn't do anything; that he was framed.

The painter had a brush with the law several years ago.

The heating, ventilation and air conditioning contractor was known to pack heat. He was arrested once but duct the charges.

The mason was suspect because he gets stoned regularly.

The cabinet maker is an accomplished counter fitter.

The autopsy led the police to arrest the carpenter, who subsequently confessed. The evidence against him was irrefutable, because it was found that the workman, when he died, was hammered.

Today's quote: Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.

52. P.C. Designated Job Titles

In the "good old days", people had jobs such as salesman, salesgirl, toilet cleaner, or a nurse or the bin man, a librarian, a teacher, if a lady was married and did not go "out" to work she was a housewife which snooty-nosed male bank tellers (they always seemed to be male), put down as "h.d.". When you went to open a bank account, the teller would ask what your job was, you would say you were married with children, then you got the dreaded "h.d.". I once asked what h.d. was and was told "home duties". Clearly you were of no value. Hmm....the world has come a long way since then.

A friend many years ago said when asked what her work was, would say she was a domestic engineer! I thought that was brilliant. Totally brilliant and adopted that myself. Of course, in today's politically correct narrow-minded little world, we have job titles such as

1. A worldwide marine asset financial analyst - an accountant.
2. Coordinator of interpretive teaching - a museum tour guide
3. A direct debit and membership and professional development stock and credit administrator – customer services administrator
4. Information adviser – a Librarian
5. Waste management and disposal technician – a bin man (you know, the chappy that empties your rubbish bin every week).

Some even more notable titles which might just have you guessing, what would be if you were a wet leisure assistant? Why, a lifeguard of course!

And if you worked as a modality manager? A nurse.

There is a vacancy going for an Investment development and research analyst. What's that, I hear you ask? Well my dears, that is a "Technical helpdesk worker"!

A mate worked as a family protection consultant – he was an insurance telesales worker - in other words selling insurance over the phone.

One of the most loved jobs would be working as a Debt management officer / Field force agent..... the tax man or tax collector.

Today's quote: Political correctness is about denial, usually in the weasel circumlocutory jargon which distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest analysis ~ George MacDonald Fraser